This column is a work of satire. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, present or future, is purely coincidental. Please, let’s work together to keep it that way.

Jan. 4, 2027 — Nevada state Capitol, Carson City

“Pardon me.”

The request from Nevada’s newest governor as she approached the lectern for her swearing-in at the state Capitol took on a double meeting in the frosty Carson City morning air.

The inauguration of former assemblywoman, Las Vegas city councilwoman, county judge and convicted felon Michele Fiore was the capstone of an unlikely political campaign that began when President Donald Trump pardoned her of all federal charges during his first year back in office. Frustrated with the reluctance of Republican now-former Gov. Joe Lombardo to deploy the National Guard to assist in Trump’s deportation of undocumented immigrants — Lombardo insisted the state lacked the budget necessary to reliably enforce state law, much less federal immigration policy — the president shocked supporters and opponents alike by pardoning the politician the media dubbed “Lady Trump” and endorsing her for governor.

The timing of the president’s pardon and subsequent gubernatorial endorsement surprised political insiders since it was offered during the 2025 legislative session. Though it was always unlikely Lombardo would have been able to convince the majority-Democratic Legislature to appropriate state funds toward detentions and deportations of immigrants, the endorsement effectively branded the Republican governor a lame duck among many members of his own party. This, many insiders believed, weakened Lombardo’s ability to negotiate with the Legislature before the state’s budget was finalized — and fatally damaged his ability to mount an effective re-election campaign.

Fiore was convicted of seven federal wire fraud charges in 2024 because of her use of donations intended for a fallen Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department officer’s memorial for her personal gain. Among those defrauded were then-Gov. Lombardo and Laborers Local 872, a union that represents construction workers in Southern Nevada. Despite those convictions, Fiore still received endorsements from the union and the Las Vegas Police Protective Association before the primary election season began.

“Are we still pissed about that money? You bet,” a spokesman for Local 872 said when they announced the endorsement. “Say what you want about her about that. We have — to her face. That’s why we endorsed her anyway. When we call her to chew her a new one, she picks up the phone. She pays attention to us. When we need something, she’s there.”

The primary election endorsement from the Las Vegas Police Protective Association also raised eyebrows. Prior to his election to governor, Lombardo served as the elected head of the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. Additionally, the funds Fiore defrauded from her victims were originally supposed to go toward the construction of a police memorial for a fallen Las Vegas police officer.

When asked why they chose to endorse Fiore instead of Lombardo in the Republican gubernatorial primary, a spokesperson for the Las Vegas Police Protective Association replied that “Fiore is the only candidate who understands that law enforcement is the first line of defense in preserving the constitutional rights of a citizen. She’s been a consistent defender of the historical role of our members as the ultimate arbiters and enforcers of the Constitution.”

Those endorsements — along with her long-standing support of Trump — helped push Fiore past an incumbent governor who always seemed reluctant to support the president many Republican primary election voters view as the personal embodiment of the Republican Party. They did not, however, signal unanimous support from labor unions or law enforcement throughout the state. 

Laborers Local 169, a union that represents construction workers in Northern Nevada, endorsed Fiore’s Democratic opponent, now-former Attorney General Aaron Ford. One prominent spokesman promised to knock “every door in Northern Nevada — twice — to defeat Fiore” in response to Local 872’s endorsement.

The Nevada Association of Public Safety Officers, meanwhile — a competing group of police associations that organizes independently of the Las Vegas Police Protective Association — announced it had not changed its mind since it declared Fiore was “an embarrassment” to Nevada in 2016 after she claimed in an interview that she would shoot a police officer to save herself.

Despite that lack of unanimity, however, Fiore’s relentlessly brash style proved more popular on the campaign trail — and on social media — than Ford’s more professionally reserved approach. Trump’s early and consistent enthusiasm for her campaign also helped her earn enviable levels of attention.

Fiore’s superior ability to attract attention — and deliver her message — allowed her to deflect criticism from her federal fraud convictions while she simultaneously drew attention to Ford’s arrests as a college student for comparatively minor infractions more than 30 years ago, the trips he took that were paid by outside groups while he served as attorney general and his receipt of illegal donations from straw donors (which he donated to charity). Ford also struggled to motivate a Democratic base that, in part, blamed his delays in attempting to prosecute Republicans for their participation in the 2020 fake elector scheme for the re-election of President Trump.

As in 2024, the 2026 election results confused, surprised and disappointed Republicans and Democrats alike. Though Fiore’s election as governor surprised many — including The Nevada Independent CEO and Editor Jon Ralston, who once again failed to accurately predict the top of Nevada’s ticket (“I knew better than to overestimate the memory and common sense of Nevada’s voters. I knew better but did it anyway.”) — her coattails, like Trump’s, proved to be remarkably short. 

Once all of the ballots were counted, Fiore and Controller-turned-Treasurer Andy Matthews were the only Republicans to win statewide office in a state that is becoming increasingly notorious for splitting its ballots. Democrat Zach Conine, who defeated Fiore in the race for state treasurer in 2022, defeated incumbent Republican Lt. Gov. Stavros Anthony. 

Upon receiving the results, Conine quipped that, “in light of who’s in the Governor’s Mansion,” he planned on adopting “at least as aggressive of a travel schedule as [his] predecessor.” 

“The real unclaimed property is peace of mind,” he later added.

Nevada Secretary of State Democrat Cisco Aguilar easily defeated his Republican opponent, former Washoe County Commissioner Mike Clark for re-election to his post. Nicole Cannizzaro, who previously served as the Senate majority leader, won a close race for attorney general against now-former Sparks City Attorney Wes Duncan, who also lost a close race for attorney general in 2018.

There was one more surprise awaiting Nevadans, however. Greg Kidd, a previously failed independent congressional candidate, was able to win a plurality of the votes in what was otherwise a three-way race on the strength of his deep pockets and his ability to connect his experience in the financial sector and at the Federal Reserve with the job of controller.

All of that, however, was settled in November. Today, on the first Monday of January, Nevadans are about to begin to see the consequences of their choices.

On a cold, blustery winter morning on the steps of the Capitol, Nevada’s newest governor, lieutenant governor, treasurer, attorney general and controller — and incumbent secretary of state — were sworn in.

Observers and officials alike all wonder — with, perhaps, a shiver that isn’t strictly because of the cold — what further surprises lay ahead.

David Colborne ran for public office twice. He is now an IT manager, the father of two sons, and a weekly opinion columnist for The Nevada Independent. You can follow him on Mastodon @DColborne@techhub.social, on Bluesky @davidcolborne.bsky.social, on Threads @davidcolbornenv or email him at david@colbornemmx.com.